Before anyone connects the dots between two of my posts from yesterday and accuses me of being confused or hypocritical, I want to clarify my stance.
I believe that in most bullying cases, the perpetrator is emotionally hurting. They may have lost control or never had control over an aspect of their life that has caused them trauma, and they lack healthy coping mechanisms. Consequently, they resort to behaviors they've learned, targeting others they perceive as weaker or stronger, hoping to make them feel some of their own pain. Bullies might also prey on someone's vulnerable emotional state, attacking when they're down, because, sadly, misery often seeks company. Bullying, an ancient practice, is frequently a disguised plea for help. However, this plea can become perilous when the bully begins to relish the power and attention derived from dominating their victims. This situation can escalate through tactics like gaslighting, rejection, ignoring, terrorizing, isolating, corrupting, and exploiting, which are profoundly harmful to victims, particularly those without the emotional tools to cope with such assaults.
We need to engage with bullies who are often victims themselves and support their growth before they perpetuate the cycle of behavior they've learned. Some bullies are indeed mean-spirited and indifferent to others' feelings. Others may not realize that what they consider fun can be harmful. While there's a time and place for friendly teasing, it's crucial to know when to stop, especially since some individuals are more sensitive than others.
In a separate post, I advocated for stricter penalties for bullying, supporting this stance because punishments can deter the majority from committing the act. Many believe there are no significant repercussions for bullying. If we enforce stricter consequences, especially in cases where bullying leads to suicide attempts or success, the bully should face equivalent repercussions. Bullying should be as intolerable as any other serious crime. Moreover, parental involvement is key. Despite the busy lives of modern parents, often working multiple jobs, it's their responsibility to raise their children to be kind, teach them morality, love, and protection. Parents should fulfill their children's physical and mental needs and be their support system, or find someone who can, like grandparents, teachers, clergy, etc.
We owe it to each other to offer support, not to bring each other down. Life is challenging enough without the burden of daily personal attacks. Indeed, we must educate our children not only to avoid bullying but also to be strong and self-assured so that they can stand tall and walk away from any bully, knowing they are better than that. Instilling such confidence may very well address both aspects of this issue.
Yes, there will always be difficult people, and there will always be those who become their targets, but we can initiate change by influencing how individuals manage their emotions and pain. It's a lengthy journey, especially in our fast-paced world, where we must discover the most effective methods to impart these values to those who need them most. However, this path promises much more positive outcomes than what we currently witness.
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